California Dreamin'

There has been a battle inside of myself these past few weeks. In search of myself I have found more than I bargained for. Memories are hidden in the depths of my brain and digging them up is a dirty task. Anger is boiling over and I'm scrambling to turn down the heat, if it's even possible. I want to bite your head off, but instead I bite my tongue. If I continue, I won't have a tongue left. All I want is some peace of mind. Away from you and everything that reminds me of you. I want to erase the memories of the last year and a half because it's easier that way. It doesn't work like that though so I'm stuck remembering all of the good, bad, and denial. This would be much easier if it hadn't meant so much to me and obviously so little to you.

Despite everything, the only feeling I have towards you is anger. I don't miss you, I miss having a person to be there for me when I need them. Now I'm forced to be there for myself and surprisingly enough I do a very good job.

A year from now I plan to be far away from this place and from you. California has always been a place that I've been drawn to so I'm following my gut and doing what I need to for the first time in my life. I can finally say that I'm not doing anything because someone else thinks it's the right thing but instead because I want to, and I know that I will prevail. Happiness is my goal above all else and I am the only thing necessary to achieve it.