Hands Clenched Tight

There are so many things that float around in my little head. I don't even know where to begin sometimes and that's when it all goes apeshit and explodes. Holding my tongue or controlling my temper have never been my strong suits but I am seriously trying to work on it because I'm tired of always pushing people away.

Life has been a mad house and I was trying to hold on so tight that I suffocated everything around me, even my plants. Trust me I did, because they're all dead.

Now I know that there is a huge need for time and space in the now really complicated relationship that I am in. Over all I'm ok with it, it's just the putting words into action thing that trips me up on occasion. My need to control every single situation to an unnecessary extent has known driven our relationship in a direction I was dreading. It's easy for me to go back and know exactly when and how it started so at least I know what needs to be done. If there is one thing that I am absolutely sure of it is that these things take patience and communication. There can't be any more little white lies coming from either side.

By giving each other space I get time to regain my own life back and strengthen my relationships with my friends. It's been something we've both been needing for a while, I was just afraid to loosen my grip.