Feeling out of wack, so here's a survey!

Something just isn't right today. I woke up with a sour feeling in my stomach and a mood to match. As much as I am fighting to not let things get to me they are. That bastard deserves to stay in jail. After writing a lot for the book yesterday I realized how difficult it is to be specific when writing a book about childhood rape and abuse. How do you get into detail about something like that without being too graphic? I don't want it to sound like child porn.

The court records came in the mail last week. When I tore that envelope open I was hoping for some peace. Instead all I got was horror. The words sodomy and 6 year old peered at me with gloomy eyes. Rape and incest of a 12 year old shot me like a thousand swords in my heart. This is real. No longer a nightmare, the reality of the abuse paralyzes me.

I can't let it. I wont let it.

The torture is over.

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1. When you were a senior in high school, what career did you think you’d choose? Did you? Why or why not?
I wanted to do hair but I let family members talk me out of it. I'm doing it now though and I'm happier about it than I have been about any of the other career choices I made previously.

2. What one thing about the “real world” did you find most surprising once you were on your own?
I've pretty much always been in charge of myself so it wasn't too much of an adjustment. The biggest thing I've learned is how hard it is to own a house and I don't even own one but I see how much work and money it takes for Andrew's mother to just maintain ours and her own.

3. Name 3 things you think your closest friends DON’T like about you.
1. I'm very verbal and sometimes I can be pretty mean. I don't like to sugar coat things but occasionally it's necessary.
2. I complain a lot.
3. I don't like to go out a lot and get wasted. I know I know I used to always, but I'm over it.

4. In order to sleep, do you need background noise or absolute quiet?
Either is fine. Andrew likes music so he can't hear his artificial valve ticking but a lot of times I like it to be quiet.

5. Why do you choose to reside in your current city? Yes, you have a choice.
I want to stay here while my sister is still young and to save some money, get married, maybe have a kid and then move on. I've grown up here so I'm somewhat attached but I do know that neither Andrew or I want to stay here forever.

6. Are you close to your parents?
More to my mother than my father. My father is a dead beat.

7. What is your favorite fiction book? Poem? Blog?
Favorite fiction book- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Favorite Poem- I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
//Pablo Neruda, translated from Sonnet XVII
Favorite Blog- I have so many that it wouldn't even be fair to put just one. LivitLuvit, It's Unbeweavable, Hipstercrite, Lesbifriends, This is How it Feels, Badass Geek, This Song Starts a Craze... Okay I'll stop now... but I could keep going.

8. Do you enjoy cooking or is it a chore?
I love to cook.

9. Be honest. What one thing would (the majority of) your blog readers be shocked to find out about you?
I'm bisexual and have dated women? I don't know... I don't try to hide anything. Everything in my life is up for grabs on here.

10. If you were given your own national holiday, what would you require people to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner on the Day of You? Would there be a parade? Greeting cards?
Lot's of cards, but no parade. That's just a little over the top. Breakfast would be eggs bacon and hashbrowns. Lunch would be Sushi. Dinner would be wings and beer. Nothing better.

Questions from Little Loves.